oh, yeah. i know. and, i mean, i touched him, too, so i know that already. but he reminds me a lot of the risen and it is easier for me to talk about him if i make light of him. if i wasn't SUPER DRUNK i would wax poetic about his rad snake body and stop being a big big dumb dumb baby, but. it turns out fate has had different plans. so crows the cock.
well, i'm only confused in that i just don't really understand why she's so angry. i guess you don't either? i think that's what i'm getting from this conversation. i have some pretty unshakeable faith in you, so i want to defend you against her, but i don't know. i don't want to cause any trouble. i, odin dark, will extend the branch of friendship towards her and see where things go. but also sorry you have this going on.
oh, there is a halloween party going on, and i am here for it. it is cool, except that i am not wearing many clothes & people have commented on it like three times. which is fine and fun, but you know. i drank from a pumpkin. i have never been drinking before. it is a weird experience, to be so thusly intoxicated by the devil's nectar. i am not a good catholic, and you should excommunicate me from this religion that i am not even apart of.
i still want to date real bad. pucci. are any of your hot forbidden fruit priest friends single?
odin, i would like you to do me a favor and get yourself a glass of water. also drink that water. try, if you continue to imbibe in this fire water, to have a glass of normal water inbetween.
it is not customary for priests to play matchmaker, odin. also, given your recent excitement with your first kiss, perhaps you should focus on that situation before throwing yourself into the treacherous waters of dating. thirdly, we talked about the forbidden fruit comment, odin. it would be better to not only refrain from calling priests this, but also potential romantic partners.
fourthly, even if i were to take this duty on, i am unaware of your sexual leanings in terms of gender and, frankly, am frightened to open this topic. have you had the water yet?
i can make water from my hands. or ice, at least. i could shoot ice down my throat!!!!! it would be quicker than drinking, but i guess also potentially fatal because my magic is all like destructive or whatever. hmm. hmm
they are all cute couples and radical teens. i am out of my depth. i'm so sad and now ive got ice in my face. what's the point of me ENRICO PUCCI.
okay but anyway, my sexual leanings are wild, free and burn with the raw animalistic intensity a sun would burn with, if that sun were a big ol' dick. oh boy oh boy, where do you want to start?
if you need me to pick you up i will. do not drive, as you are drunk and also have likely no idea what a steering wheel even is. your point is as fate wills, which seems to be bad decisions regarding how to use your magic when you could simply get a glass of water, odin. at the moment, at least.
i regret even mentioning the term 'sexual leanings' to you.
there's no time for that, we're talking about sexuality. the truth is, i don't even know what i want! i like spending time with people and i like being loved. i want attention from everyone, but sometimes that desire and the desire to get SUPER LAID takes precedent over any physical or emotional attraction i might feel towards any specific person. honestly, i don't think i've even really felt a lot of physical or emotional attraction in my life. i mean, that's a lie. MAN OH MAN, PUCCI, DO I EVER DO SOME UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT. but certainly i haven't felt a lot of physical or emotional attracted directed at a specific person, at least. i have crushes on everyone and every time someone is aesthetically attractive, i'm like, nice! i wanna do consensual and appropriate things to them if they are interested, such as holding hands or perhaps progressing our hypothetical situation to where we smooch, or perhaps - do i dare say it - even more. but. i don't know. i wish i could just be married to and sleep with a robot so i don't have to TALK TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
i am seriously considering coming to pick you up so we can end this conversation prematurely.
ignoring a great deal of what you said, mostly about your 'spanking the monkey' as the youth says, i believe, as cliche as it sounds, you must follow your heart, odin. sometimes you must experience life and let it come as it may to understand where such matters lie.
no, don't! i want to talk about physically assaulting primates some more! the primate in this metaphor, of course, being, of course, my SCREECHING AND WRITHING AND RAVENOUS GENITALIA. THIS BEAST! AH, THE BLOOD. HE RAGES! HE HUNGERS. DO YOU FEEL IT, PUCCI? THE ONCOMING DISASTER.
but yeah, i guess. i think if i live my life the way i'm living it, though, i'm just going to make myself and a lot of other people miserable. my day to day calendar consists of poor planning and decimating self restraint.
gods, you're so boring. "drink without getting ill, odin! it's not polite to talk about your penis in polite society, odin!" i know that. i know it's not. i'm not NILES. but this isn't polite society! this is PUCCI AND ODIN'S FUNTIME TALK HOUR.
when i'm less drinksy i would like to talk more about my crisis of sexual identity though. you're a priest and my friend so you're obligated to listen to me even if you don't want to. i know how it works. you can't weasel out of this.
you cannot hang up on a text conversation, odin. so you know.
very well, i would be happy to hear it. i'm curious to hear how sexuality is viewed in your world, there is unfortunate bias here. regardless, do you have a ride home with a designated driver?
he doesn't know it yet but i'm going to make archie carry me home. hahaha that stupid son of a bitch. i love him so much. i love all my friends. everyone i know is so smart and funny and interesting.
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and, i mean, i touched him, too, so i know that already.
but he reminds me a lot of the risen and it is easier for me to talk about him if i make light of him.
if i wasn't SUPER DRUNK i would wax poetic about his rad snake body and stop being a big big dumb dumb baby, but.
it turns out fate has had different plans.
so crows the cock.
well, i'm only confused in that i just don't really understand why she's so angry.
i guess you don't either? i think that's what i'm getting from this conversation.
i have some pretty unshakeable faith in you, so i want to defend you against her, but i don't know.
i don't want to cause any trouble.
i, odin dark, will extend the branch of friendship towards her and see where things go.
but also sorry you have this going on.
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i am sorry he upset you so thoroughly, odin.
as i am not from her time i don't know for certain, no.
we have not met face to face in my time.
i wish you luck in your endeavors here.
but more importantly, why are you 'super drunk?'
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it is cool, except that i am not wearing many clothes & people have commented on it like three times.
which is fine and fun, but you know.
i drank from a pumpkin.
i have never been drinking before.
it is a weird experience, to be so thusly intoxicated by the devil's nectar.
i am not a good catholic, and you should excommunicate me from this religion that i am not even apart of.
i still want to date real bad.
pucci.
are any of your hot forbidden fruit priest friends single?
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try, if you continue to imbibe in this fire water, to have a glass of normal water inbetween.
it is not customary for priests to play matchmaker, odin.
also, given your recent excitement with your first kiss, perhaps you should focus on that situation before throwing yourself into the treacherous waters of dating.
thirdly, we talked about the forbidden fruit comment, odin.
it would be better to not only refrain from calling priests this, but also potential romantic partners.
fourthly, even if i were to take this duty on, i am unaware of your sexual leanings in terms of gender and, frankly, am frightened to open this topic.
have you had the water yet?
1/2
i could shoot ice down my throat!!!!!
it would be quicker than drinking, but i guess also potentially fatal because my magic is all like destructive or whatever.
hmm. hmm
brb
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BIG MISTAKE
BAD
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i was not fast enough.
are there any responsible adults at this party?
no, you do not count.
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i'm so sad and now ive got ice in my face.
what's the point of me ENRICO PUCCI.
okay but anyway,
my sexual leanings are wild, free and burn with the raw animalistic intensity a sun would burn with, if that sun were a big ol' dick.
oh boy oh boy, where do you want to start?
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do not drive, as you are drunk and also have likely no idea what a steering wheel even is.
your point is as fate wills, which seems to be bad decisions regarding how to use your magic when you could simply get a glass of water, odin.
at the moment, at least.
i regret even mentioning the term 'sexual leanings' to you.
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the truth is, i don't even know what i want!
i like spending time with people and i like being loved.
i want attention from everyone, but sometimes that desire and the desire to get SUPER LAID takes precedent over any physical or emotional attraction i might feel towards any specific person.
honestly, i don't think i've even really felt a lot of physical or emotional attraction in my life.
i mean, that's a lie. MAN OH MAN, PUCCI, DO I EVER DO SOME UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT.
but certainly i haven't felt a lot of physical or emotional attracted directed at a specific person, at least.
i have crushes on everyone and every time someone is aesthetically attractive, i'm like, nice! i wanna do consensual and appropriate things to them if they are interested, such as holding hands or perhaps progressing our hypothetical situation to where we smooch, or perhaps - do i dare say it - even more.
but.
i don't know.
i wish i could just be married to and sleep with a robot so i don't have to TALK TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
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ignoring a great deal of what you said, mostly about your 'spanking the monkey' as the youth says,
i believe, as cliche as it sounds, you must follow your heart, odin.
sometimes you must experience life and let it come as it may to understand where such matters lie.
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i want to talk about physically assaulting primates some more!
the primate in this metaphor, of course,
being, of course,
my SCREECHING AND WRITHING AND RAVENOUS GENITALIA. THIS BEAST! AH, THE BLOOD. HE RAGES! HE HUNGERS.
DO YOU FEEL IT, PUCCI?
THE ONCOMING DISASTER.
but yeah, i guess.
i think if i live my life the way i'm living it, though, i'm just going to make myself and a lot of other people miserable.
my day to day calendar consists of poor planning and decimating self restraint.
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more quickly than usual, you've done well.
perhaps what you should focus on is accepting yourself and learning to curb your intense self doubt.
as you do other facets of your life should clear.
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"drink without getting ill, odin! it's not polite to talk about your penis in polite society, odin!"
i know that. i know it's not. i'm not NILES. but this isn't polite society! this is PUCCI AND ODIN'S FUNTIME TALK HOUR.
i'm hanging up.
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you're a priest and my friend so you're obligated to listen to me even if you don't want to.
i know how it works. you can't weasel out of this.
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so you know.
very well, i would be happy to hear it.
i'm curious to hear how sexuality is viewed in your world, there is unfortunate bias here.
regardless, do you have a ride home with a designated driver?
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hahaha that stupid son of a bitch.
i love him so much.
i love all my friends.
everyone i know is so smart and funny and interesting.
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nevermind. that is a foolish question.
please let me know if a ride is needed.