they are all cute couples and radical teens. i am out of my depth. i'm so sad and now ive got ice in my face. what's the point of me ENRICO PUCCI.
okay but anyway, my sexual leanings are wild, free and burn with the raw animalistic intensity a sun would burn with, if that sun were a big ol' dick. oh boy oh boy, where do you want to start?
if you need me to pick you up i will. do not drive, as you are drunk and also have likely no idea what a steering wheel even is. your point is as fate wills, which seems to be bad decisions regarding how to use your magic when you could simply get a glass of water, odin. at the moment, at least.
i regret even mentioning the term 'sexual leanings' to you.
there's no time for that, we're talking about sexuality. the truth is, i don't even know what i want! i like spending time with people and i like being loved. i want attention from everyone, but sometimes that desire and the desire to get SUPER LAID takes precedent over any physical or emotional attraction i might feel towards any specific person. honestly, i don't think i've even really felt a lot of physical or emotional attraction in my life. i mean, that's a lie. MAN OH MAN, PUCCI, DO I EVER DO SOME UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT. but certainly i haven't felt a lot of physical or emotional attracted directed at a specific person, at least. i have crushes on everyone and every time someone is aesthetically attractive, i'm like, nice! i wanna do consensual and appropriate things to them if they are interested, such as holding hands or perhaps progressing our hypothetical situation to where we smooch, or perhaps - do i dare say it - even more. but. i don't know. i wish i could just be married to and sleep with a robot so i don't have to TALK TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
i am seriously considering coming to pick you up so we can end this conversation prematurely.
ignoring a great deal of what you said, mostly about your 'spanking the monkey' as the youth says, i believe, as cliche as it sounds, you must follow your heart, odin. sometimes you must experience life and let it come as it may to understand where such matters lie.
no, don't! i want to talk about physically assaulting primates some more! the primate in this metaphor, of course, being, of course, my SCREECHING AND WRITHING AND RAVENOUS GENITALIA. THIS BEAST! AH, THE BLOOD. HE RAGES! HE HUNGERS. DO YOU FEEL IT, PUCCI? THE ONCOMING DISASTER.
but yeah, i guess. i think if i live my life the way i'm living it, though, i'm just going to make myself and a lot of other people miserable. my day to day calendar consists of poor planning and decimating self restraint.
gods, you're so boring. "drink without getting ill, odin! it's not polite to talk about your penis in polite society, odin!" i know that. i know it's not. i'm not NILES. but this isn't polite society! this is PUCCI AND ODIN'S FUNTIME TALK HOUR.
when i'm less drinksy i would like to talk more about my crisis of sexual identity though. you're a priest and my friend so you're obligated to listen to me even if you don't want to. i know how it works. you can't weasel out of this.
you cannot hang up on a text conversation, odin. so you know.
very well, i would be happy to hear it. i'm curious to hear how sexuality is viewed in your world, there is unfortunate bias here. regardless, do you have a ride home with a designated driver?
he doesn't know it yet but i'm going to make archie carry me home. hahaha that stupid son of a bitch. i love him so much. i love all my friends. everyone i know is so smart and funny and interesting.
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i was not fast enough.
are there any responsible adults at this party?
no, you do not count.
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i'm so sad and now ive got ice in my face.
what's the point of me ENRICO PUCCI.
okay but anyway,
my sexual leanings are wild, free and burn with the raw animalistic intensity a sun would burn with, if that sun were a big ol' dick.
oh boy oh boy, where do you want to start?
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do not drive, as you are drunk and also have likely no idea what a steering wheel even is.
your point is as fate wills, which seems to be bad decisions regarding how to use your magic when you could simply get a glass of water, odin.
at the moment, at least.
i regret even mentioning the term 'sexual leanings' to you.
no subject
the truth is, i don't even know what i want!
i like spending time with people and i like being loved.
i want attention from everyone, but sometimes that desire and the desire to get SUPER LAID takes precedent over any physical or emotional attraction i might feel towards any specific person.
honestly, i don't think i've even really felt a lot of physical or emotional attraction in my life.
i mean, that's a lie. MAN OH MAN, PUCCI, DO I EVER DO SOME UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO MYSELF AT NIGHT.
but certainly i haven't felt a lot of physical or emotional attracted directed at a specific person, at least.
i have crushes on everyone and every time someone is aesthetically attractive, i'm like, nice! i wanna do consensual and appropriate things to them if they are interested, such as holding hands or perhaps progressing our hypothetical situation to where we smooch, or perhaps - do i dare say it - even more.
but.
i don't know.
i wish i could just be married to and sleep with a robot so i don't have to TALK TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
no subject
ignoring a great deal of what you said, mostly about your 'spanking the monkey' as the youth says,
i believe, as cliche as it sounds, you must follow your heart, odin.
sometimes you must experience life and let it come as it may to understand where such matters lie.
no subject
i want to talk about physically assaulting primates some more!
the primate in this metaphor, of course,
being, of course,
my SCREECHING AND WRITHING AND RAVENOUS GENITALIA. THIS BEAST! AH, THE BLOOD. HE RAGES! HE HUNGERS.
DO YOU FEEL IT, PUCCI?
THE ONCOMING DISASTER.
but yeah, i guess.
i think if i live my life the way i'm living it, though, i'm just going to make myself and a lot of other people miserable.
my day to day calendar consists of poor planning and decimating self restraint.
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more quickly than usual, you've done well.
perhaps what you should focus on is accepting yourself and learning to curb your intense self doubt.
as you do other facets of your life should clear.
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"drink without getting ill, odin! it's not polite to talk about your penis in polite society, odin!"
i know that. i know it's not. i'm not NILES. but this isn't polite society! this is PUCCI AND ODIN'S FUNTIME TALK HOUR.
i'm hanging up.
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you're a priest and my friend so you're obligated to listen to me even if you don't want to.
i know how it works. you can't weasel out of this.
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so you know.
very well, i would be happy to hear it.
i'm curious to hear how sexuality is viewed in your world, there is unfortunate bias here.
regardless, do you have a ride home with a designated driver?
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hahaha that stupid son of a bitch.
i love him so much.
i love all my friends.
everyone i know is so smart and funny and interesting.
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nevermind. that is a foolish question.
please let me know if a ride is needed.