Not uncomfortable? Just kind of guilty and confused. I feel like maybe I understand you a lot less than I thought I did, and that makes me feel weird. Like I'm a bad friend and I haven't tried getting to know you enough, if you can be friends with a decapitating vampire and worship him as a god and it surprises me rather than makes me think, "that's my Pucci!". Why do I call you Pucci, even? He calls you Enrico. Why don't I call you Enrico? Am I that bad of a friend? I don't know. It's my problem, not yours.
i assume you call me pucci because it reminds you of dogs each time you do so. you may call me enrico if you prefer.
odin, all my life i've had questions i could not find answers to. i was born with a twin actually, domenico. he died shortly after we were born, and it always struck me as to why. why did he die and i live? it wasn't guilt, at least i do not believe it was, i simply wanted to know. the church offered answers to these questions. God's plan, the whims of fate and freewill. i tried to find comfort in this. and i did, but the trappings of organized religion are not always pure or true. i saw a great deal of hypocrisy, of posturing and lies. it did not shake my faith in God by any means but it left me wondering where the purity of His word could be found.
eventually i met dio. i was fifteen and tripped over him in the church aisle. he spoke to me of gravity then and i did not understand, not fully. i dismissed the encounter as strange. in the following year a great many things happened by chance and whim. perla's death being one of them. i manifested whitesnake, i learned many truths. more importantly i went and met dio again. i had the same questions only stronger, more frantic. why had things gone this way? have you ever heard of the butterfly effect, odin?
the butterfly effect is the idea that something small can, in time, cause something much larger. a butterfly flapping it's wings here, a simple displacement of air, can create a typhoon elsewhere as that air travels. a silly metaphor in many cases, but an apt one. maybe the idea of something snowballing into an avalanche is more sound.
regardless, a simple event created an avalanche and at sixteen i was uncertain of what it meant. the trappings of organized religion do not answer everything, not truly. i'll spare you that discussion, and say only i could not find my answer there. dio though, when i met him again i felt like my eyes were opened. a year ago gravity had brought us together, he felt it then when i did not. more so through him i began to understand the shape of fate. some things are fated. sometimes a butterfly flaps it's wings and nothing can stop that air from becoming a typhoon. sometimes the avalanche comes. to fight and bemoan fate would do me nothing. i would not learn, i would not get anything back. the truest peace humanity could find is accepting this. not to lay down and deny living as pointless, every action and struggle is as important to fate and those uncontrollable moments. but to know your place in God's plan. To see it, fully, and understand that one day a butterfly would flap it's wings and destroy.
odin, you are being rather more sincere than you usually are, or perhaps that isn't the word. you are concentrating in a way i am not used to. i appreciate this, and that you care enough to do so. i hope you can understand what i mean but perhaps you are fated not to. regardless, dio showed me that path when i was lost. he gave my life a new meaning, one i had been searching for since i was young. i believe dio is a man loved by all things holy. i believe he has it in him to grasp fate itself, and find a path to heaven. you may find this strange, as he certainly makes no attempt to hide the darker aspects of his personality. he was shaped by fate, as we all were, i suppose. i believe my fate is to be by his side as long as i can, and i rejoice in this.
[ huh, weird. if pucci knew the name owain, that sentence would have been kinda heavy. haha, oh well! ]
No, I understand what you mean. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I completely understand your position, and if your life was in so much turmoil at such a young age, I can see why you would find the idea of precognitive knowledge appealing. But, I don't think I agree with it? I lived in a world where my fate was set in stone, and so I left that world to prevent it from coming to pass. I plucked the butterfly of its wings before it had a chance to fly. I went against god, in my home world. Actually - I killed him. I killed the God of my universe. When I get home, I'm to kill another, or at least a being as close to god as one being can be. I'm not sure where that leaves me, in your eyes. Fate has always been something for me to bemoan and fight against.
But I understand you and your relationship with Dio more than I did when we started talking, and that's all I wanted. So. I'm happy.
do not misunderstand me odin, i do not believe anyone truly knows their fate until after it has passed. if you have done this, killed a God that claimed fate, killed something that could be such a God then that is not fighting fate. that is playing your role, regardless of how difficult that role is.
i understand fate is a difficult subject. many claim it or avow knowledge of it to manipulate those around them. i would ask you to never stop fighting. perhaps it is naive but i believe humanity can achieve heaven.
thank you for listening, odin. you have given me much to think about.
and please try not to antagonize dio. he is very dear to my heart and will likely not appreciate your patented brand of friendship.
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no subject
I feel like maybe I understand you a lot less than I thought I did, and that makes me feel weird. Like I'm a bad friend and I haven't tried getting to know you enough, if you can be friends with a decapitating vampire and worship him as a god and it surprises me rather than makes me think, "that's my Pucci!".
Why do I call you Pucci, even? He calls you Enrico. Why don't I call you Enrico? Am I that bad of a friend?
I don't know.
It's my problem, not yours.
Why is it complicated?
no subject
you may call me enrico if you prefer.
odin, all my life i've had questions i could not find answers to. i was born with a twin actually, domenico.
he died shortly after we were born, and it always struck me as to why.
why did he die and i live? it wasn't guilt, at least i do not believe it was, i simply wanted to know.
the church offered answers to these questions. God's plan, the whims of fate and freewill. i tried to find comfort in this.
and i did, but the trappings of organized religion are not always pure or true. i saw a great deal of hypocrisy, of posturing and lies.
it did not shake my faith in God by any means but it left me wondering where the purity of His word could be found.
eventually i met dio. i was fifteen and tripped over him in the church aisle.
he spoke to me of gravity then and i did not understand, not fully. i dismissed the encounter as strange.
in the following year a great many things happened by chance and whim. perla's death being one of them.
i manifested whitesnake, i learned many truths. more importantly i went and met dio again.
i had the same questions only stronger, more frantic. why had things gone this way?
have you ever heard of the butterfly effect, odin?
no subject
But hearing someone call you by your first name, your real one, means a great deal, sometimes.
So...
I might upgrade.
I'm listening.
Tell me about the butterfly effect.
no subject
[not a pointed comment about owain, noooo]
the butterfly effect is the idea that something small can, in time, cause something much larger.
a butterfly flapping it's wings here, a simple displacement of air, can create a typhoon elsewhere as that air travels.
a silly metaphor in many cases, but an apt one. maybe the idea of something snowballing into an avalanche is more sound.
regardless, a simple event created an avalanche and at sixteen i was uncertain of what it meant.
the trappings of organized religion do not answer everything, not truly. i'll spare you that discussion, and say only i could not find my answer there.
dio though, when i met him again i felt like my eyes were opened.
a year ago gravity had brought us together, he felt it then when i did not.
more so through him i began to understand the shape of fate. some things are fated. sometimes a butterfly flaps it's wings and nothing can stop that air from becoming a typhoon. sometimes the avalanche comes.
to fight and bemoan fate would do me nothing. i would not learn, i would not get anything back.
the truest peace humanity could find is accepting this. not to lay down and deny living as pointless, every action and struggle is as important to fate and those uncontrollable moments.
but to know your place in God's plan. To see it, fully, and understand that one day a butterfly would flap it's wings and destroy.
odin, you are being rather more sincere than you usually are, or perhaps that isn't the word.
you are concentrating in a way i am not used to.
i appreciate this, and that you care enough to do so. i hope you can understand what i mean but perhaps you are fated not to.
regardless, dio showed me that path when i was lost. he gave my life a new meaning, one i had been searching for since i was young.
i believe dio is a man loved by all things holy. i believe he has it in him to grasp fate itself, and find a path to heaven.
you may find this strange, as he certainly makes no attempt to hide the darker aspects of his personality.
he was shaped by fate, as we all were, i suppose.
i believe my fate is to be by his side as long as i can, and i rejoice in this.
no subject
[ huh, weird. if pucci knew the name owain, that sentence would have been kinda heavy. haha, oh well! ]
No, I understand what you mean.
I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I completely understand your position, and if your life was in so much turmoil at such a young age, I can see why you would find the idea of precognitive knowledge appealing.
But,
I don't think I agree with it?
I lived in a world where my fate was set in stone, and so I left that world to prevent it from coming to pass.
I plucked the butterfly of its wings before it had a chance to fly.
I went against god, in my home world. Actually - I killed him. I killed the God of my universe.
When I get home, I'm to kill another, or at least a being as close to god as one being can be.
I'm not sure where that leaves me, in your eyes.
Fate has always been something for me to bemoan and fight against.
But I understand you and your relationship with Dio more than I did when we started talking, and that's all I wanted.
So.
I'm happy.
no subject
if you have done this, killed a God that claimed fate, killed something that could be such a God
then that is not fighting fate. that is playing your role, regardless of how difficult that role is.
i understand fate is a difficult subject.
many claim it or avow knowledge of it to manipulate those around them.
i would ask you to never stop fighting.
perhaps it is naive but i believe humanity can achieve heaven.
thank you for listening, odin.
you have given me much to think about.
and please try not to antagonize dio.
he is very dear to my heart and will likely not appreciate your patented brand of friendship.
no subject
FATE AND TALKING ABOUT IT SURE IS HARD
What do you mean by my "patented brand of friendship", though? I haven't antagonized Dio or anything!
I'm getting him gifts, even.